Ruby

It’s been one hundred nineteen days since our final stroll with our forever favorite GSP and I’m barely three weeks into my grief.

photo: V. Lowry

March 20, 2025

I’ll move back into my bedroom, sometime, one day, soon, maybe by the end of the week. For now, I remain nestled in the pile of blankets, pillows, and essence of your presence for our final night with you, our beloved Ruby, who we will forever cherish as our bright, quirky, ADHD, escape-artist, loving German Shorthaired Pointer. It’s 1:35pm now, the exact time you departed on Monday, a blurred three days ago. One plus three plus five equals nine, which in numerology represents endings and closures. “Everything in its time” will always remind me of you, nine, and life’s divine timing.

There will come a day when I won’t pause at 1:35pm and think of the moment we three held you in our arms, my hand upon your heart as we set your free. I’ll be in my room by then, perhaps the phantom pressure of your chin on my ankle as I sleep with have fully metabolized into my memories.

I’ll hear Ruby Tuesday on the radio and tender joy will be in place of tidal grief. Sometimes, I’ll think of you and the parodies we made to the tunes of Rocky Top Tennessee and Bohemian Rhapsody in reflection of your adventures and our love for you. I may even sing as I did to you that day, “Rubykins, you’ll always be, our favorite GSP! We love Rubykins, Rubykins GSP, Rubykins is for me!” And I’ll always laugh when I recall, “Rubae, oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo, why did you run so fast, put Daddy in a cast, oh Rubae, why did you have to run that far away?

Later this year, as the leaves and temperatures fall, I’ll be remembering how on the first day of Spring I woke up under the fort I built for us all to spend one more night together. I’ll pull out the enormous purple sheers and drape them in our backyard for my 60th birthday party. I’ll remember that I stretched these sheers across the living room to build our family fort so that we could revisit all the forts that came before, when the kids were little and camping out on the floor with you was a thrill.

And on the morning after, I’ll pull a cozy blanket onto the hammock and snuggle my birthday gift to myself, a new baby-love, a GSP puppy and her name will be, Tuesday.

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby